More "outrage"

Ver and others have pointed out the outrageous exchange between American President Bush and Philippine President Arroyo wherein Bush praises Filipino Americans by referring to his cooks. Actually, I don't even know why I'm calling it "outrageous." That man is loathesome, to be sure, but I'm no longer truly shocked by anything he has to say, by any more gaffes that show his deep-seated racism and sexism. (Like mother like son?) To think that it is ever okay to say such a thing in the context of diplomatic relations, and to another head of state no less, also smacks of real idiocy, not to mention ignorance.

But he is not the only one to be faulted. How did Arroyo respond? She -- that panderer to U.S. interests and human rights violator of Filipino people -- just laughed with the rest and said, "Yes." Even worse, why was she in the U.S. when the Philippines has just gone through the devastation of a huge typhoon? She really does seem to want to emulate the Bush administration.

Here is Dr. Carol P. Araullo's take on Arroyo:

De facto president Gloria Arroyo’s visit to the United States amidst national tragedy wrought by Typhoon Frank shows she is more interested in her own survival than that of hundreds of thousands of Filipino families directly and indirectly affected by the calamity and that she considers the support of the US more important than the support of the Filipino people.

What is it in Mrs. Gloria Arroyo’s so-called working visit to the US that is so important that she could not put off the trip in light of the devastation in many provinces not to mention the sinking of the ferry MV Princess of the Stars with hundreds dead or missing and still unaccounted for?

The height of the visit was a 35-minute audience of Mrs. Arroyo with US President Bush wherein the two “reaffirmed … the close cooperation between the Philippines and the United States on food security, defense and economic development”.

What was that exactly?

According to the Malacanang press release, Mr. Bush expressed his condolences to the families of the victims of the sea tragedy and announced the sending of the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan “and other naval assets” to help in the retrieval and rescue operations. He also lauded Mrs. Arroyo for her “strong position against terrorism.” Mr. Bush promised “food aid to help the Philippines with its rice supply problems”. He and Mrs. Arroyo took up “(their) mutual desire to advance … bilaterally and multilaterally in trade agendas.” For her part Mrs. Arroyo used the occasion to underscore that Philippine-US relations were “strong and healthy” and the two governments were working together “to establish a progressive Philippines, the torch of democracy in Asia.”

Nothing earthshaking if we go by the official reports. Nothing that could not have been achieved through the usual diplomatic channels or even videoconferencing. In fact, Malacanang claims that through the latter device, Mrs. Arroyo has managed to be “hands on” in the relief and rescue operations while being thousands of miles away.

[Read on]

Mosaic meme

A mosaic that sort of describes me:




If you want to play, here are the Rules:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.


Taken from elle phd.

World War II

Not sure why, but we have been immersed of late in stories of World War II in Europe:

• We have been going through the first four seasons of Foyle's War (2002-) on DVD. PBS shows it occasionally, and it is a great series about a British police detective catching bad guys at home with the war as looming backdrop.
• We also recently watched Enemy at the Gates (2001), based on the true story of a Russian sniper in Stalingrad during the Nazi invasion.
• Then I realized that this past week's issue of Newsweek has two big articles on WWII, the first on Churchill and the second a scathing review of Pat Buchanan's new (and apparently very biased) book about WWII as an "unnecessary" war.

Since I never took European history in high school or college, a lot of the details were new to me. I should note that we also recently watched Clint Eastwood's Flags of Our Fathers (2006) and Letters from Iwo Jima (2006). And, for dissertation purposes, I re-watched Markova: Comfort Gay (2000), which is about the sexual abuse of queer Filipino men by Japanese soldiers during the Japanese Occupation of the Philippines in WWII.

I have learned a lot, but I have to admit that I am feeling overloaded by watching so many war films at one time. The realism -- i.e., blood and gore -- is part of it. The in-your-face violence is incidentally very different from the old-school WWII films (with John Wayne and such) that I am "reading" for my dissertation.

Why I'm not voting for a Clinton this time

I think a lot of people have been looking at the Democratic primary as either voting pro-women or voting pro-people of color. This dichotomy is of course ridiculous as it suggests that all women are white and all people of color are men. While at first the choice between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama was a difficult one for me since their proposed policies are so similar, it has become increasingly clear why Barack Obama is my candidate for President: he cares more than Clinton or McCain about everyone, men and women, of all races. (And I have to admit, I am voting for Barack Obama in part because Michelle Obama will be going to the White House too.)

Barbara Ehrenreich's latest blog essay just encapsulated how I feel about Hillary Clinton's politics and confirms why my not voting for her racist ass does not mean that I am anti-feminist or anti-women. A couple of excerpts that might not be as effective taken out of context but that I like (and in any case you should read the essay in its entirety -- it's relatively short):

Surely no one will ever dare argue that women lack the temperament for political combat. But by running a racially-tinged campaign, lying about her foreign policy experience, and repeatedly seeming to favor McCain over her Democratic opponent, Clinton didn’t just break through the “glass floor,” she set a new low for floors in general, and would, if she could have got within arm’s reach, have rubbed the broken glass into Obama’s face.

[snip]

It’s important –even kind of exhilarating – for women to embrace their inner bitch, but the point should be to expand our sense of human possibility, not to enshrine aggression as a virtue. Women can behave like the warrior queen Boadicea, credited with slaughtering 70,000, many of them civilians, or like Margaret Thatcher, who attempted to dismantle the British welfare state. Men, for their part, are free to take as their role models the pacifist leaders Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi. Biology conditions us in all kinds of ways we might not even be aware of yet. But virtue is always a choice.

That's right: virtue is a choice, and Hillary Clinton has been choosing poorly for a while now, and that is why she is not my candidate for President.

I Am Legend, some impressions

I'm not sure why I feel compelled to write about this, but I could not get I Am Legend out of my head after we watched it one night last week. I tried to go to sleep but ended up staring at the ceiling, and then I started crying when I thought of how lonely Will Smith's character was. I stayed awake while the baby slept until the wee hours, and for a sleep-deprived new mother this was no small thing.

Despite the stock CGI vampire-zombies, the film (based on a book I haven't yet read) is really about loneliness. I think it is pretty amazing that Smith was able to convey such quiet desperation while also doing his action-star thing, i.e. confronting, killing, and trying to find a cure for the crazed cannibals who used to be human. I should confess here that I am one of those people who will watch a Will Smith movie just because it's Will Smith, the same way I watch Keanu Reeves films -- they are guilty pleasures even if the films are not so good (Constantine, anyone?). But I have been very impressed with Smith's acting lately (viz. The Pursuit of Happyness), and his portrayal of Dr. Robert Neville in I Am Legend broke my heart, even with the lame vampire-zombies swarming all over the last part of the film. His interaction with non-humans in the film -- the faithful dog, the mannequins that he has apparently set up at the video rental store in order to have "people" to say hello to everyday -- could easily have come off as cute staginess, but he tread so convincingly the line between pathetic and dignified that my initial wince of amusement dipped into a grave understanding of and empathy for his relentless adherence to a regular daily schedule and to the seemingly futile attempts to find a cure and to make contact with any uninfected survivors. When he is forced to kill Sam the dog with his bare hands after she has been infected, the look on his face is incredible -- a combination of determination, agony, and a recognition that he is killing his last remaining living companion, that he is now completely and utterly alone in the world.

It is a different kind of sci-fi/action film for Smith -- unlike I, Robot, Independence Day, or the Men in Black films, it doesn't end happily for the hero: he doesn't survive (he basically sacrifices himself in order to save the rest of the human race, where usually he doesn't have to die to save the world) because he has nothing left to live for (his wife and child are already dead and he isn't interested in playing house with the much younger attractive female character who saves him from a suicide mission and the young boy who travels with her). When the film first came out last year, friends told me that they didn't like it very much, and I didn't ask for an explanation. I thought it was I, Robot done badly or something. But I think now that it may have been the foiled expectations of what a Will Smith action film is supposed to be. This was more than what the usual horror film or action film usually delivers, with its eerie blend of quiet and fireworks. I can't say that it is one of my favorite films; it is almost too unrelentingly sad despite the fact that the human race is ultimately saved (yay for us), but it is haunting and powerful in its way.

I just had to

It's a Harry Potter quiz!


Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.


Link via Bec.

Bertday

Dudes. I turn the big 3-0 today. I had a little family party yesterday, something similar to last year's event but not quite as outdoorsy or as well-documented. There is only one photo of the lot from yesterday and it doesn't even include all the guests or the gorgeous chocolate cake my mother-in-law made. The reason (in case you hadn't already guessed): almost all photographic effort went towards the real guest of honor, baby BG, who turns 7 weeks today himself. Strangely enough I do not have those photos of him, but here is the lone photo of some of the party goers and the table spread -- I got it "catered" by Baja Fresh, yum.



To make up for the lack of BG photos at his (mother's) party, here is a photo of him and his mater at her alma mater:

Birth announcement

I know it's been a long time. I don't want people to think that I didn't survive the birth (!), so here is the birth announcement of my beautiful wee babe:

Baby BG was born at 7:15 pm on March 3, weighing in at a whopping 7 lbs 15 oz and measuring 21.5 in (so much for the doctors scaring me with IUGR, ugh). He barely looked like an infant when he came out because he had more fat under his skin than most newborns (thanks to my hearty appetite during pregnancy, I believe) and because he came out with a full head of black hair (thanks to my genes). Unfortunately the whole birth process took a long time and I had some complications (induction seriously sucks and I guess my body wasn't ready even a week after his supposed due date), but I am happy to report that I managed to avoid a c-section, and, after today's 6-week postpartum exam, am officially fully recovered.

At the hospital:



Five days old (love those caterpillar arms):


Ten days old ("Oh no, I'm losing my hair!"):


Two weeks ("Oh no, I'm losing even more hair..."):


Three weeks ("Whatchoo lookin' at, Willis?"):


Four weeks (this photo should be horizontal):


Five weeks (my little froggie):


Six weeks (onesie designed by NC...I still have to make him onesies of the other three Houses):


BG is now more than four pounds over his birth weight and gaining steadily. He loves to eat and doesn't care if I get any sleep. At least I am able to get lots of fun reading done while breastfeeding, even in the super early hours. Both of his grandmothers like to hog him when they visit, and they try to visit as often as we allow. They are waiting until I am more comfortable leaving him with babysitters so that they can spoil him to their hearts' content.

Passive labor rocks

I simply had to do a (modified) victory dance today when the doctor told me that I am now 3 cm dilated. Effacement and station are still the same, but hearing that I had gained 2 cm in a week without real contractions felt pretty good. Passive labor rocks: it gives him time to fully cook in there while (hopefully) shortening my active labor. The doctor seemed to think that I would give birth within a week -- my due date is in three days -- but just in case they have put together the paperwork to schedule an induction in early March. I have resigned myself to this possibility as it would be best for us if the baby didn't get too big to fit through the birth canal (which would necessitate a c-section for sure). Also, I didn't hear a word today about possible preeclampsia. Overall a good report.

Conference: Campus Lockdown

This looks like it will rock. You should go if you're in the area! (And then tell us about it!)

Campus Lockdown:
Women of Color Negotiating the Academic Industrial Complex

DATE: Saturday, March 15, 2008
TIME: 10:30am - 5:00pm
LOCATION: University Club, Michigan Union, Ann Arbor, MI

Contact Info
Email: info@woclockdown.org

The Campus Lockdown conference will center women of color in the academic industrial complex. We will consider its structural constraints, as well as the implications of our scholarship. Please register by 2.29.2008.

For more information & to register online, please visit www.woclockdown.org

Conference at a glance:

Speakers:
Piya Chatterjee, University of California, Riverside
Angela Davis, University of California, Santa Cruz (via teleconference)
Rosa Linda Fregoso, University of Southern California
Ruthie Gilmore, University of Southern California
Fred Moten, Duke University
Clarissa Rojas, San Francisco State University
Haunani-Kay Trask, University of Hawai'i

Schedule:
10:30 am - 12 noon:
Panel I: Women of Color in the Academic Industrial Complex
12 noon - 1:30 pm:
Lunch (on your own)
1:30 - 3:30:
Panel II: Why Women of Color Scholarship?
Social Justice, Ethnic Studies, and Women’s Studies
3:45 - 5:00:
Closing Event

(Thanks mdrew for the tip.)

Cat, LOL

For all you cat owners. We laughed like crazy at this. And check out the details on the bed and the cat toys strewn all over the floor.

Still cooking

I had a "special" ultrasound on Monday, and the official word is that the little one is NOT too small. He is in fact now in the 52nd percentile of American averages, in which, of course, many Asian-descent babies will not register high. I was a little freaked out that he is currently estimated at over 7 lbs (and still growing), but of course the margin of error of weight estimates based on ultrasound can be +/- 2 lbs. (I doubt he is 9 lbs, but if he were smaller than 7 I would still be happy.) However, I still need to keep going in for twice-weekly NSTs. My blood pressure started to rise a bit this past week and a half, though not to hypertension levels, so now I need to be on the lookout for preeclampsia, which can be dangerous but can be cured by delivering the baby. To be honest, the dh and I are getting a little exasperated. If it's not one thing, it's another. I'm due in about nine days, and while we take this news seriously, we've become a bit skeptical of the doctors. It would have been more helpful for the doctor to suggest some things I can do to keep my blood pressure low instead of prescribing more NSTs, rather than just scaring me and telling me which symptoms necessitate going to the hospital. I feel like I've had to do all the research on how to be proactive about these things, whereas the doctors are just being reactive and test-happy (they don't even interpret the test results most of the time); while NSTs can be seen as being proactive, in this case it seems like drinking more water, taking in less salt, and keeping a daily log of my blood pressure results would be more helpful?

Also, I am still in the same condition I was last week -- same dilation, effacement, and station. Whereas last week I was worried about giving birth too early (even if the baby was already considered full-term), now I am wondering if I will have to be induced. As a rule, they will induce one week after the due date, which is in early March, but I would much prefer to start the process on my own. There is something to be said for trusting one's body.

4 Barack

"20 minutes or so on why I am 4Barack": video by law professor Lawrence Lessig.

Just reading the transcript made my heart beat faster. I hope the momentum continues to gather.


(Via Prof Zero)

Insomnia strikes again, so an update

Even though I had a very long day with the Saturday childbirth class and shopping afterwards, I could only nap for about three hours. My mind is awhirl with the forthcoming labor. While my due date is in a little over two weeks, it could happen anytime now according to my doctor (well, one of them, the one who examined me); as of Thursday, I was dilated 1 cm and already 70% effaced. I found out at the class that I am one of the lucky ones, as I have started the process without painful contractions; let's hope it keeps going that way for a while longer! After getting home from the class, I passed the mucous plug, which may have been partly dislodged by some of the pushing and breathing exercises we did throughout the day (and man, the baby was really kicking and elbowing around in there the whole time; I guess he was high on all of the oxygen from the concentrated relaxation breathing I was doing). While I would like to get through at least one more week before giving birth, we are basically ready for the baby's arrival in practical terms: the bassinet and crib are set up, clothes and blankets and bibs are washed and folded, and the infant car seat base is set to go in my car once the dh wakes up today. I have put together almost everything that I will be taking to the hospital with me, including the baby's take-home outfit, and I can finish packing when early labor starts. We haven't had a lot of time to practice the breathing and relaxation techniques, but I seem to have no problem putting my body into a relaxation state almost immediately, a skill learned and apparently remembered during my high-school athlete days. On a side note, this is one of the things I have been thinking about -- the possibility that the intense experience of being a competitive weightlifter might in some ways be similar to undergoing the pains of birth, during which my body will be producing endorphins to help take the edge off the pain -- although who knows what true labor contractions will do to me? The dh also seemed a lot more confident about his role in the birth and told me in so many words that he was eager to take care of the baby and me, and indeed he has been wonderful these past weeks and at the classes we have attended. So, emotionally, we are almost ready as well. The Saturday childbirth class reinforced some of the things we knew and laid out for us in depth the different stages of labor and what to expect at the hospital. And, because we were the couple with the soonest due date (everyone else was more sensibly in the mid-30-week mark or earlier), we put a lot of effort into learning the exercises and listening and watching diligently. (We're also a couple of nerds and usually pay attention in our classes anyway.)

Still around

...and still pregnant. I have about three weeks left till the due date, although of course who knows when he'll decide he wants out? Last week ended up being a pretty unfortunate one, with an accumulation of events that took my mind off the baby and my work and that cost time and money (that tax refund would be helpful about now), but I won't go into that. Here, instead, are some updates on the top priority in my life right now, the pregnancy:

The 2nd baby shower is done (as of 1.5 weeks ago), and although it was really for the future lola (i.e., my mom) and the memory of my dad, we're grateful for the generosity of my parents' friends. They're really loved and esteemed by their colleagues, which was heartening to see. What with two baby showers, this has got to be one of the most well-equipped babies ever.

We finally bit the bullet and got a camcorder. Well, aren't we the typical middle-class first-time parents? We figured our siblings who live in different states and parts of California would appreciate some videos, as would the grandparents and our future selves, i.e., for posterity.

My NSTs (see here for the rant) have been fine, although there was some extra concern two Mondays ago that got us sent for further testing -- a biophysical profile or BPP -- which the baby passed with flying colors; if he hadn't they wouldn't have let us leave the hospital. He was just sleepy at the wrong time, apparently. Ugh. I am now more than irritated with this micro-management of the pregnancy which is accompanied ironically by cursory face-to-face interactions with the doctors; I wonder, if they spent more time with me and talked in detail with me about how I was doing in addition to looking at ultrasound and other test results, would they hesitate to prescribe these tests? It is all making me suspect that the doctors are building up to pressure me into getting a C-section (which I DO NOT want and will resist unless they convince me it's "medically necessary"). Also, I get passed between two different doctors who don't always agree on the next course of action; I would appreciate not getting mixed messages. Wouldn't anyone, especially about health and medical issues? In any case, during the BPP I did learn several things of interest to me:

1. I actually have been having those Braxton-Hicks contractions that help tone the uterine muscle for the real thing, but which I have been attributing to either the baby moving or general pregnancy sensations related to bones and ligaments shifting and softening and muscles doing their thing. It's funny, but once the RN showed me on the monitor the points (the hills) at which I was having the contractions, I could actually match them to what I was feeling and LEARN what was happening to my body. I have friends who found their B-H contractions pretty painful or otherwise noticeable, so I had assumed I wasn't having any.
2. The RN told me the things one should look for in these NSTs, which was helpful to know as no one had bothered to tell me besides a) movement and b) heart rate between 120-160. In fact, they look for more specific things, like, with movement, the line on the strip/chart should clearly be a mountain, meaning that when the baby moves, his heart rate should increase to the 160s and above and then quickly descend into normal range. They want a certain number of these mountains every 10-15 minutes or so.
3. The baby actually practices breathing in there by inhaling amniotic fluid (maybe that's why he gets hiccups everyday?). On the ultrasound screen, it really looked like he was breathing -- he even yawned once while I was watching -- even though of course there is no air in there. It was pretty cool.
4. As of two Mondays ago, I was not dilated at all. I'll get another update later this week.

Yesterday, his NST was perfect and took only 20 minutes because I woke him up by drinking cold water beforehand, as suggested to me by a nurse (and in fact, the RN for the BPP gave me cold water while I was doing the extended NST). This makes me wonder, though, if professionals can't distinguish between a weak/distressed baby and a sleepy baby, then what is the point of the NSTs? Or perhaps, why don't they hand out cold water or juice to the pregnant woman before every NST to standardize each outcome?

Finally, this evening, the dh and I went to our first childbirth class. We have three more weeks to go in the course, but we might not make it the last one because it falls right after my due date. We hedged our bets by signing up for a one-day childbirth class this Saturday, so hopefully we will be fine if the baby comes earlier than expected. In any case, my mind has eased somewhat after going to this class tonight. I learned some breathing (not Lamaze) techniques that seem like they will be helpful. The teacher/doula emphasized that natural (i.e., unmedicated) childbirth is very possible, and that we could help shorten the really painful part of labor if we made sure to learn how to relax through the contractions, to try to make each contraction productive by sitting on a birthing ball or just not being horizontal, and to not freak out and go to the hospital too early as it is much easier to relax at home, in familiar surroundings. I was glad to know that she advocated natural vaginal birth over C-section, since she has had both types. At the same time, if I do have to have a C-section, I know that it is manageable (and I will have extra help anyway in the first month or so because of our parents). I was also relieved that the dh was getting pointers on how to be my labor partner during the labor process. I hadn't realized that I was worried over how differently he and I have been going about educating ourselves about pregnancy. Taking this class together alleviated some of that worry.

Shower Pix

Upon request, I am sharing some shareable photos of the baby party/shower from a week and a half ago. The party was co-ed, and it was attended by our family in Long Beach as well as friends from L.A., Orange County, and our local area. Despite the fact that I wasn't supposed to do a lot of planning and executing, it was exhausting for me, in part because of third-trimester insomnia and because people were gathered at my house, but I had a great time. My sisters, my brother, and my brother's girlfriend did a really great job organizing the food and games, making sure that there were different games with different rhythms so that people could eat, mingle, and move around instead of being marshaled from one activity to another. My mother and parents-in-law did a lot of the work, too, as did other family and friends who pitched in. The warm vibes being passed around all afternoon were lovely.

This is the huge, two-layer chocolate and yellow cake that my mother-in-law made and decorated herself for dessert. It was excellent. Yum.


The spread, with the entrées (pancit palabok, meat and veggie lasagnas that my older sister made, chicken breasts with artichokes in tomato sauce that my younger sister made) bracketed by the sugary desserts on one side and cocktail shrimp and fruits on the other.


The guests playing the games, co-ed style. (The dh and I didn't play any, of course, but they looked fun.)


Some of the li'l ones at the party.


One of my favorite parts -- the onesies that people decorated with cloth markers and iron-on appliqués, here displayed as a gallery at the end of the shower.

Ticking it off one by one

I read my list of things to do from the last post, and, today, a little over two weeks later, I find that I am almost done with it. Excellent. The hospital tour was very informative and reassuring; my laptop is back, with new hard drive and no data lost, and all free under extended warranty; the co-ed baby shower/party went very well despite the typical snags of large parties, and I was really gratified by the support and love from family and friends; the essay review was turned in today (almost late, of course); and my doctor's appointments are being met with diligence. We even took a breast feeding class somewhere in there. We just have the shower my mother is throwing this weekend, and then the next big to-do for the baby is in early February (childbirth classes).

The only thing with the doctor's appointments is that I have even more now because one of my doctors is worried that the baby is a little small for dates and so wants to monitor him more closely from now on. But, um, hello, I am a small person, and I myself was less than 6 pounds at birth. I'm not sure why they're expecting a 7-pound baby to come out of me (although I've certainly gained enough weight over the past 7-8 months to warrant it!). Nevertheless, they have asked me to come in for twice-weekly non-stress tests (NSTs) to make sure that the baby's heartbeat is not weak and that he is moving around in there (he's definitely moving around in there -- and kicking, and elbowing, and wiggling, and hiccuping). I am sure this is just to cover their legal asses, but not only did it freak me out to hear that there might be a problem (OMG, could it be IUGR?! Could the baby be STARVING in there?! Is there something wrong with my placenta?!), it is quite inconvenient to go to the doctor's office twice a week. I am actually waddling at this point, and feel the urge to go to the bathroom most strongly when I am walking around, so having to get out of the house to do errands is definitely not high on my list of favorite things to do right now. My first NST was two days ago, and, as I expected, no problems. In fact, the baby was moving around so much that he dislodged the heart rate monitor in order to get away from it. Hah! A kid after my own heart already.

In any case, I just have to keep this up and hope that the baby doesn't decide he wants out NOW. I have 5 weeks left, more like 4+ weeks, and I hope he stays there to "cook" for as long as possible.

New year

January will be -- is -- a very busy month for me. Let's see: doctor's appointments, hospital tour, baby showers (yes, plural, because my Filipino mom has to have one for HER friends), baby room set-up, laptop repair, essay review, and last but not least, a memo/response to my prospectus meeting last month. No resolutions here, except to complete as much of this list as I can without fainting from exhaustion.

The most vexing and pressing at the moment is probably the laptop problem since it sideswiped me, though it's actually just the hard drive. I seem to have bad hard drive karma. The hard drive on my last laptop also failed after almost exactly two years. And I am terrible about backing up my files except for school stuff. But I do hate to lose digital photos and music files as most of the former can't be replaced and the latter is a pain to replace. I also dislike losing old e-mails and bookmarks. I am glad to have purchased a three-year warranty, but the amount of time and energy it takes to deal with the problem frustrates me. I am currently sharing the dh's computer, which is not customized for me and which is not a Mac, so I have been feeling quite unmoored, even, shall I say, a little rejected by technology. It is amazing and somewhat alarming to realize the true extent of my reliance on my little PowerBook; not only do I do most of my academic work on the computer and communicate with the outside world largely through e-mail, but I also keep my daily schedule and satisfy my entertainment needs on the computer. It's just too bad that computers and especially hard drives are not the most reliable things in the world.

In other news, I am now about 7 weeks away from my due date, which seems both far away and too soon. Although I didn't gain as much weight last month as I thought I would, I have ballooned even more, all swelled up and retaining water. (You should see my ankles. Gah!) It is getting harder and harder to squat, bend, and even stay in one position for extended periods of time, including to sleep. I have started to really think about what "labor and delivery" means, but we won't be able to take childbirth classes until next month -- I know, why are we waiting so long?...well, a number of factors made it impossible to schedule; I just hope we get enough information before this baby drops.

Anyway, I hope you all had a restful and merry holiday season and are having a good new year so far!

Holidaze

Miss Fritzie asked that I put up photos of my holidaze like I did last year, but for some reason we didn't take any pictures of the Xmas dinner at our house. However, here is a picture of our tree soon after it was trimmed (but before we vacuumed up the needles that were shaken loose while we were hanging the ornaments):



A little sad, isn't it, with no presents underneath and too much bright light. Well, to make up for the lack of party pictures, here are some photos of our recent, successful home-improvement project: transforming the embarrassingly messy room-where-we-throw-everything-we-don't-know-where-to-put into a room fit for a baby. This was a project we should have tackled months ago, when I would have been able to actually help with the painting and other manual labor. Thankfully, my parents-in-law, who are experts in painting rooms and general handiness, offered to make the long drive over and dramatically shorten the time needed to paint over the garish two-tone pink walls with a double coating of "Icy Mint" color that I love (though can I just say, paint is shockingly expensive). They and the dh did an incredible job, and I am super-happy about the results, albeit a bit guilty about not being much help.

So you can see what we were up against, here are:

THE BEFORES

Taken shortly after we bought the house in November 2006, when the room was still completely empty; we definitely had it in mind to repaint the room when we got the place, but we didn't have the time or even a real idea of what to make of it before we had to move in all our stuff

Taken earlier this month, with Stella the cat posing among the dh's model airplanes, random boxes, wires, books, and miscellaneous crap on every available surface; this is just a small sample -- basically, the entire room had been like this for a whole year

THE AFTERS (I love these)

Taken while the paint was still drying on Thursday, with Stella once again posing (though she was more interested in the late-afternoon sunlight than anything else)

Taken this afternoon, after the old furniture was put back into the room and the crib and changing table were set up

A different angle of the room, with the bookcase still empty

Here you get a better look at the "Icy Mint" color -- ain't it purty?

We kept the cloudy sky mural on the ceiling; it turns into a glow-in-the-dark starry night when it's dark, and it was what helped us overlook the crazy-Barbie-pink color of the walls in the first place

Spicy me

I guess I'm not crazy a(f)t(er) all. But apparently I stink! At least I love myself. Yum.

Your Score: Garlic

I scored 50% intoxication, 75% hotness, 75% complexity, and 0% craziness!

You are Garlic!

No offence, but you stink. Pretty much everyone loves you, though. You're smart and pretty hot and you fit in with about any culture. You're a total cut-up; in fact, the more cut-up you get, the hotter you become. But be careful, when you get embarrassed, you turn really sweet.

The Which Spice Are You Test

Found via Professor Zero

Hello December

I have been away from this blog so long that I feel like a stranger here. I haven't been gone because I've been buried in work. In fact, I spend way too much time doing crosswords, both online and on paper. This is the way I deal with stress. Last year, when studying for the qualifying exams, I got addicted to sudoku. I had a book and would play for hours on end. I can't do that with crosswords, since I don't have a book, but I still manage to play four or five different ones a day. At least crosswords aren't as mindless as sudoku. And I do manage to get things done throughout the day.

So, the stress. This semester has been more about fellowship applications and honing my dissertation proposal than about researching and reading. I haven't had to apply for funding in several years, so I was quite rusty this time around. Also, this is sort of a big week for me. I am having my prospectus meeting this Friday; it is not a defense the way that last year's oral/qualifying exam was, but it is still causing me stress. I have gotten quite a bit of feedback on my dissertation proposal already, much of it at a workshop a couple of weeks ago that was both stressful and helpful (which I wrote about here), but of course the upcoming meeting will be with my dissertation committee, i.e., the four professors who will be signing off on the dissertation in a couple of years (hopefully). It does not help that I have to travel for this. While the dh will be driving me this time so that I won't have to deal with airports and numerous arbitrary regulations, we still have to worry about leaving Stella the cat alone for a couple of days. Our local friend won't be able to check in on Stella because her daughter got sick just today.

Yesterday, I found out that I am anemic and will have to take iron supplements. From what I read, this is not uncommon in pregnancy, especially during the third trimester. Taking an extra pill a day doesn't faze me, but it seems like the first of further discomforts to come in the next two and a half months. I am reminded of how swollen my legs and ankles were when I arrived home from the airport after the workshop. It was a bit scary, as if my whole legs had been replaced by meaty haunches of ham. Or something that basically felt foreign on my body. They looked like clubs. The swelling thankfully went down after a good night's rest, but last week, my doctor told me to expect a lot more swelling and backaches (for which I cannot go to a chiropractor).

At the same time, though, I am getting more and more excited about the baby as his due date draws nearer. Once this prospectus meeting is over and we have returned home, we can focus on the holiday season -- set up a tree, put up photos on the family room walls, go to the Disney Concert Hall for the Holiday Sing-Along with the L.A. Philharmonic, have family over for dinner, exchange presents, etc. We're also planning to (finally) fix up the baby room, which will include painting over the bright pink walls of one of our bedrooms with a cool mint-green. We already have the crib, thanks to my mother-in-law, but it is sitting in the living/dining area because the pink room is still a mess of books and furniture that wouldn't fit anywhere else when we first moved in. I have been slowly putting those books in plastic Sterilite boxes for storage in the garage. Next week I hope to gather some momentum in prepping the house for both holiday and baby.

Finally, I'll leave with a couple of links to blog posts that I found interesting reading:

• Reflections of a tenured female academic on the "choices, consequences, constraints" that she had to deal with when she decided to have and raise children (H/T Liz) -- this is something that really speaks to me as I look forward to an academic career with children


• At a different end of the scale, Joanne's frustration at being taken for granted by family because she is an academic who is unmarried (and doesn't have children), despite being successful -- notice how the similarities in both these situations stem from their being women; I don't believe men who choose academic careers get as taken for granted by their families as do women

Talk by Roger Garcia on Indie Asian Cinema @ UC Berkeley

"ASIA RISING - Indie Asian Cinema"

Talk by Roger Garcia

Nov 19, 2007
4:30PM
IEAS Conference Room, 2223 Fulton Street, 6th Floor
UC Berkeley

In the past decade the cinemas of Asia have become internationally admired and respected replacing the European art cinema of the 1960s on the festival circuit. Yet the films of directors such as Zhang Yimou, Wong Kar Wai, Park Chan-wook, Takeshi Kitano, John Woo and Johnnie To are products of a commercial industry based on long established genres. The international recognition of Asian films has had another effect - the rise of non-commercial filmmaking that is comparable to indie cinema in the West. Roger Garcia will discuss the rise of independent film in Asia with particular focus on the Philippines and Malaysia.

About the Speaker:
Roger Garcia was director of the Hong Kong International Film Festival and has been consultant for many film festivals including the San Francisco International Film Festival. He is author and editor of books on Cantonese Cinema of the 1950s, Frank Tashlin, Asians in American Cinema, and Asian musical films. He has been published by Cahiers du Cinema, British Film Institute, Far East Economic Review, Asiaweek, Film Comment, and Variety among others. He has broadcast for Radio Television Hong Kong, Channel 4 (UK), and was creator, and executive producer of Comcast cable's Cinema AZN, the first program on Asian and Asian American cinema in the US. As producer he has produced studio pictures in Hollywood, and independent and underground films in Asia.

Light Refreshments will be served.

Organized by the Asian Cultural Studies Townsend Working Group, with co-sponsorship from the Asian Pacific American Studies Townsend Working Group and the Center for Southeast Asian Studies. For more information, please contact Amy Lee (amyklee @ berkeley . edu).

Life Expectancy Calculator

I learned about the Life Expectancy Calculator while watching yesterday's CBS Sunday Morning Show on current research on living longer. I was surprised by how generous the calculator was, given what I know of my negative living habits, but I think it was the history of low blood pressure and my new pregnancy-related eating habits.

Speaking of my new eating habits, which have led to some rather astonishing weight gain (well, it better not be a 30-pound baby in there), I saw this on Big Fat Blog last week: "the group from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Cancer Institute reports, there were more than 100,000 fewer deaths among the overweight in 2004, the most recent year for which data were available, than would have expected if those people had been of normal weight." That's a quote from a New York Times article, by the way.

I found this news gratifying, but at the same time I realized that there is so much contradictory information out there about human health. After all, the CBS Sunday Morning Show yesterday also featured calorie-restriction as one promising method to live longer. So, yeah, take all of this with at least a few grains of salt. (Sea and kosher salt are pretty tasty. Just a suggestion.)

Save Marilou Ranario Movement

Just received this e-mail forward today:

Subject: URGENT ACTION! Marilou Ranario, Filipino domestic worker in Kuwait on death row

...

Dear Friends,

Thank you very much for those who have extended their support in the campaign to save the life of our sister, Marilou Ranario. For those who have not signed up, please do so and would appreciate if you can circulate to your networks.

Marilou Ranario is a Filipino domestic worker convicted of murder and sentenced to death  by hanging in Kuwait. On November 13, the Kuwait Court of Cassation (High Court) will hear the oral arguments on Marilou Ranario case. It is expected that the conclusion of the case will happen in December 2007 or February 2008.

We have attached a sample of appeal letter address to the Kuwaiti Emir and factsheet. Please copy furnish us a copy of your letter to be presented during the dialogue at the Kuwait Embassy in the Philippines on November 13, 2007.

Your support is highly appreciated.

Thank you very much in anticipation.

Sincerely yours,


CONNIE BRAGAS-REGALADO
Chairperson, MIGRANTE International, a global alliance of 130 Filipino
migrant organizations
Convenor, Save Marilou Ranario Movement

(Scroll to the end for sample appeal letter to Kuwait.)

"Fact Sheet" on Marilou Ranario:

Migrant worker: Marilou Ranario
Age: 35 years old (born 17 August 1972 in Carigara, Leyte)
Hometown: Surigao del Norte
Manila address: Brgy. Holy Spirit, Quezon City
Civil status: Married to Lolito Dalubatan
Children: Raffy John and Roselle
Country: Kuwait (arrived in 10 December 2003 for a 2-year contract)
Occupation: Domestic worker
Salary: 45 Kuwait Dinar monthly (approx. P7,425)
Last employer: Najat Mahmoud Faraj Mobarak
Case status: Death sentence by hanging under final appeal with Kuwait’s Supreme Court; a final verdict is expected in January or February 2008


OVERVIEW

Marilou, 35 years old, was arrested and imprisoned for the alleged murder of her female employer Najat Mahmoud Faraj Mobarak in 11 January 2005. She was sentenced to death by hanging by Kuwait’s Court of First Instance on 28 September 2005. Kuwait’s Court of Appeals upheld this sentence in February 2007.

Her case is now under final appeal with the highest court, the Court of Cassation. Oral arguments are set to start this November 13th with a final verdict to be released in the first quarter of 2008.

A closer look at her case reveals that Marilou is in fact more a victim than a criminal.

Marilou is a victim of a systemic poverty so intense that it forces more than 3,000 Filipinos daily to work overseas just to survive. In her bid to earn a decent living for her family, Marilou grasped onto the knife’s edge and went to Kuwait as a domestic worker -- even though she is a teacher by profession. Clearly, Marilou went abroad because of her dream to give her children a better life -- and not to commit a crime in a foreign land.

Marilou is a victim of abuse and human rights violations. She suffered maltreatment, verbal and physical abuse from her employer. She was also not given her salary, which was much needed by her family in the Philippines, for three months.

Marilou is also a victim of the Arroyo administration’s criminal neglect. From January to September 2005, when she was sentenced to death by hanging, Marilou received very little assistance from the Arroyo administration.

In fact, from January to April, she was left completely on her own because it was only in April 2005 that she was even provided a lawyer to help with her defense.

In 2005, a Migrante International campaign to expose her plight and the government’s criminal neglect of her case compelled Vice-President Noli de Castro to bring Marilou’s parents to Kuwait for a visit with Marilou in prison in October 2006.

But instead of helping her case, VP de Castro may have even worsened it by boastfully assuring the family and the public that Marilou's life would be spared -- especially considering how despite the letter of forgiveness or tanazul given by the family of Marilou's victims, the Court of Appeals affirmed in February 2007, the initial verdict of death by hanging.

Under Shariah Law, the personal aspect of the Marilou’s case is already resolved with the provision of the letter of forgiveness. However, this aspect is outweighed by the public aspect which is now being heard by the Court of Cassation or Kuwait’s highest court.

A major factor that may influence the court's final decision is the presence of a massive outpouring of national and international support in favor of Marilou.

The weeks remaining until the release of the final verdict in the first quarter of 2008 is the only window of hope left for Marilou and her family. Let us maximize this time to mount a strong campaign that will generate an overwhelming public opinion for Marilou Ranario -– an abused domestic worker, a teacher by profession and a young mother whose sole and simple dream was to build a better tomorrow for her young children and her family.


CHRONOLOGY

December 10, 2003: Marilou leaves for a 2 year contract in Kuwait as a domestic worker

July 4, 2004: Her recruitment agency transfers her to a new employer, Kuwaiti Najat Mahmoud Faraj Mubarak, 45 years old; however her visa was never transferred to this employer

January 11, 2005: Marilou allegedly kills her employer; surrenders to authorities

May 11, 2005: First Court hearing is held

June 1, 2005: Court refers Marilou to have her mental status assessed; she is admitted to the Psychological Hospital; findings show Marilou was sane during the incident

September 28, 2005: Marilou is sentenced to death by hanging by Judge Saleh Al-Houty and two other associates of the Court of First Instance of the Criminal Circuit Court

December 2005: Marilou’s family finds out about the death sentence after her father calls the Department of Foreign Affairs to inquire about the case; the family is denied a copy of the appeal the DFA states it submitted to the Court of Appeals for Marilou

February 17, 2007: Court of Appeals upholds the death sentence

September 15, 2007: Campaign countdown towards justice for Marilou is launched

Sample letter of appeal to the Kuwait Amir:

HIS HIGHNESS SHEIKH SABAH AL-AHMAD AL-JABER AL-SABAH
The Amir of the State of Kuwait
Al Diwan Al Amiri,
Sief Palace – Building 100
State of Kuwait.
Telephone: +965 888881
Fax: +965 2430559
amirsoffice@da.gov.kw


September 26, 2007


Your Highness,

I am writing to appeal to you, on humanitarian grounds, to spare the life of Filipino domestic worker Marilou Ranario, whose death sentence by hanging is now under final appeal with Kuwait’s Court of Cassation. I was informed that a final decision is expected sometime early next year.

As an advocate of migrant workers, I empathize greatly with Marilou’s plight because her story is one that is largely shared by countless other migrants.

Marilou is a young mother, wife, sister and daughter who wanted little more than a better life for her family. She is a teacher by profession but poverty compelled her to leave behind her children and work in Kuwait as a domestic worker. Her husband is a jeepney driver but until today, he does not have a regular source of income. It is truly tragic that in her bid to eke out a decent living for her children, she now faces the prospect of perhaps never seeing them again.

In this regard, I hope very much that the extreme conditions Marilou may have been subject to before the tragic death of her employer is considered. According to statements by Marilou’s family, Marilou reportedly told them that she was being severely maltreated and that the night before her employer’s death, she feared greatly for her life.

In closing, I wish to thank your Highness in advance for considering my letter of appeal and again, I hope very much that Marilou’s life may indeed be spared.

Yours sincerely,

More information about the Save Marilou Ranario Movement at these places:
Bulatlat article
GMA News article
online petition
more Google results

Eggplant, tofu, and pregnancy

One of the things I have noticed about being pregnant is that it has made me a lot more conscious of the things I eat. In fact, I would say that my stomach has basically ruled my life since I got pregnant, whether it was nausea or extra-mean hunger pangs.

Here, I am taking my cue from Joanne by sharing a healthy recipe that I've found. It is a version of Eggplant and Tofu in Spicy Garlic Sauce from the Fatfree Vegan Kitchen Blog, and it works out very nicely. Here is a photo from the last time I made it: